Anxiously Engaged
“… men (and women) should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness” (D&C 58:27-28. So says the Lord in scripture.

Anxiously engaged, that has given me cause to pause and ponder. At first glance, the anxious part could make you feel anxious. It has overtones of being worried, tentative, hesitant, all of which I’m quite sure were not intended in the scripture. Just the opposite.

But then I thought as a child I was anxious for Christmas to come, not worried, just excited. But somehow a stuffed Christmas sock doesn’t do it for me anymore.

Then last night I woke up still mulling the idea in my head. I thought, ‘When have I had such feelings as an adult?

“Aha,” I mumbled in my half sleep. Yes. I do remember when I was so elated that the anticipation tinged everything I did and thought. It was breathtaking anticipation I visualized over and over how much more rich and happy I would be when this came to pass. Great plans unfolded before me.

A little giddy, light headed with a feeling sweet as a love song, and as powerful as The Marine band playing Stars and Stripes Forever. I could hardly believe my good fortune. Sugar and spice, and everything nice. My cup runneth o’er, also my bucket and my barrel.

I wanted to focus all my ambition, hopes, plans, daydreams on this.

I would do everything in my power to make it happen. Sacrifice would be no sacrifice if I could just live this dream forever.

The feeling grew as the fulfillment grew closer and closer. I was totally, unequivocally committed to making this glorious vision come to pass.

In fact this life changing experience has happed to me twice. Once when I was a bachelor, and once when I was a widower.

In short, two times I have been anxiously engaged, and then marvelously married to an angel for eternity.